A Goal For the New Year

A lot has happened since our last posts. Two short days after I returned from my professor’s memorial service in Iowa, my brother was critically injured in a construction accident. He fell 40 feet onto concrete through an unmarked skylight.

Without going into detail, I’m pleased to fast forward to the present and report that (two and a half weeks later), he has taken some strides, though it will be a long road ahead. Needless to say, life has taken on new meaning since the tragedies of this fall & early winter.

To quote one of my professor’s and my favorite musicals, RENT, “There’s only us. There’s only this. Forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today.” I’m living my life by these lyrics now.

With that, yesterday I started my latest quest to get back into running regularly. I have vowed to run to only Michael Jackson tunes and will run to nothing else until my brother is able to join me again, no matter how long it takes- days, weeks, months or even years.

Why MJ? He’s one of both my and E’s childhood favorite artists. Our family had ‘Thriller’ on vinyl (awww yeah) and when my mom was at church council meetings, we (all four of us plus my dad) would blast it at maximum volume and make the house shake. As soon as we saw the family van pull up in the driveway we’d turn it down. One of my favorite childhood memories! E & I also share a great love of last year’s movie ‘This is It’ and I plan to take the DVD to the hospital to watch with him sometime soon.

On the Max front, he continues to be a thriving and energetic little dude and the light of our lives. He’s currently all about Thomas the Train, trucks and Matchbox cars! His sense of humor and general well-behavedness are sources of pride for both of us. Christmas with his two cousins in the midwest will be very special this year!

M had a very successful fall semester here at Penn State and is just one semester shy of receiving his MFA. It’s been a long three years, but well worth it. Feel free to check out his website to see some of his incredible accomplishments! www.mgbensondesigns.com.

I had a great fall as well. I music directed ‘Altar Boyz’ and ‘The Drowsy Chaperone’ (which M also designed!) and will be playing Keys2/Guitar2 this spring on ‘RENT’. This will be very meaningful and special given the loss of my dear mentor & friend.

I’m just realizing that this post has kind of turned into what would probably be in our Christmas letter (that will not get sent this year), so to wrap this up, we’d like to wish everyone near and far a happy holiday and very blessed and healthy new year. Thanks for reading us! And hey, do me a favor, will you? Take a second to hug your loved ones a little bit longer than usual and tell them how much they mean to you. Life’s too short.

National Prematurity Awareness Day

Due to several factors (S.A.D. and the death of dear mentor and friend), I have fallen into a bit of a hole with my running. I did go back to the gym today and ran my first 5k in forever and it felt good. More to come…

Today, I encourage you to check out our family blog on an issue that is very important to us. Thanks.

http://www.mbthetd.blogspot.com.

New Goal

Max & I met a friend for breakfast this morning and I’d actually remembered my gym clothes, so we went to the bigger gym in town afterwards. The daycare room has a new ‘feature’ in that you leave your cell number/location on the check-in sheet and said location can include outdoor running! I got away with doing this this summer when the daycare room was in a different building, but it’s nice to know it’s 100% legal to be off the Y premises now.

Went on a fantastic run around the surrounding neighborhoods & park. It was chilly this morning and I was wearing a running skirt & t-shirt, but it felt fantastic. I like not being hot when I’m running and running outside is MUCH more interesting than looking at the wall on a treadmill.

I’ve been listening/preparing for my next show (The Drowsy Chaperone) during my runs this week. It times out nicely because my miles coincide with the duration of the disc.

Think I’m starting to ‘make peace’ with my rut of the previous weeks. My new goal is going to be to run 4 miles every other day at least three times a week. I’ll try for 4x when I can, but by upping my mileage to 4 mi each run, I’m going to allow myself to not feel guilty for taking days off in between.

Climbing Out

I have now officially logged more miles in the past 18 hours than I have in the past two weeks.

Bit of a rut, yes.

Go figure that it took both my uncle & MIL commenting that I looked thinner since they’d last seen me (three and about one month respectively) to give me a jumpstart, especially since I’ve been particularly cow-ish the past couple weeks.

So, if you two are reading- thank you!

It felt good to get back to it. Here’s hoping that I stick with it and get back into it hardcore again! I know that running always makes me feel good, don’t know why I ever stop.

In a semi-related note, my spirits have been much improved as of late. I did get a new (teeny bit stronger) prescription of my ‘Happy Meds’ a couple weeks ago and though the darkness outside still gets me at times, I do honestly feel an overall difference since the prescription change. And that makes me happy. (See?)

Diabeetus-wise, my numbers continue to be within the suggested ranges. I was in NYC this past weekend for a concert and there was only one instance that my number was high, but I fully admit that it was because I’d indulged in an amazzzing pineapple mojito!

Up & Down

Oh, fall. Why must you taunt me so?

I love the crispness in the air… the changing of the leaves… the thought of taking Max to the pumpkin patch… the need for extra layers (though not this week!)…

And  yet you make me feel down. A sinking feeling that makes me want to curl up and hibernate. I don’t like you, but I’m aware that you’re showing yourself and for me, just recognizing it so early is a victory. I’m going to do my best to fight you off.

You better look out.

Yaaaaaay!

I had a much needed breakthrough tonight after a rough week physically & mentally.

M & I were in Milwaukee last weekend for a wedding and with the permission of my dietician, I indulged. I did go for a nice long run on one of the mornings, but mostly I just enjoyed glorious food & libations without being psycho and counting everything all the time! It was a diabetic’s Heaven.

To make a long story short though, I had a difficult time transitioning back to ‘The Life’ once we returned. I felt fat all week and beat myself up to the point of sometimes not even having all my meals. (i.e. If I just didn’t feel like eating breakfast or lunch, I didn’t. But don’t fret, I now realize that I do need those counted numbers of whatever per meal in order to function, so this week should *knock on wood* be better.) Exercise-wise up until today, I’d only run 6 miles for the week as well, which is hilarious to me for two reasons: 1) that 6 mi seemed like so FEW compared to my normal mileage, and 2) that 6 months ago a QUARTER of a mile seemed like too much to handle.

Due to the sudden change in temperatures, I also really started to notice the change of season during the week, which is somewhat exciting because I love fall for what it stands for (nip in the air that requires a fuzzy sweatshirt & extra blankets, bonfires, changing leaves, etc), but it’s also a bit of a downer, as I have been known to suffer from seasonal affective disorder. So needless to say, the combination of SAD, feeling like a fatty and not running much made for a week of feeling unenergized and just plain blah during the days.  

I started using our special phototherapy lamp on days that seem darker though, which has been a big help. I also vowed to myself and the world that I’d lace up my running shoes and get back into it starting tomorrow because running always seems to heighten and keep my spirits in a good place.

Tonight after dinner I decided to take Max on a walk in his jogging stroller. It was a nice cool evening and I just had the sudden urge to get out, so I jumped on it. I had it in the back of my mind that I’d attempt to jog with the stroller a bit, but not a lot because it’d always been a challenge in my past attempts. (A little history: after Max’s birth two years ago, we were gifted with numerous Target gift cards by our amazingly generous family & friends. We used the bulk of them to purchase the jogging stroller with the intention that I’d use it to get back into shape.)  

We set out and after about 5 minutes or so I decided to give it a whirl. For some reason, I could only go for about 20 seconds or so, so I stopped. I walked for a quarter of a mile, then told myself to try again and try to see if I jog a quarter of a mile. It worked, so I switched on and off for a bit. I felt like my pace was actually faster than usual, so I justified trading off walking & running, which I normally never do. (Once I start running, I force myself to keep a pace that will ensure that I won’t ever have to stop to walk. This is a double-edged sword, but hey, it works.) After another half mile I decided to slow down my pace a bit and get into a groove that would allow me to continue on without stopping.

I found it and ended up running my normal 5k before heading home. Max had a ball. He definitely enjoyed going faster when I started running. He greeted people as we passed them, meowed at a neighborhood cat, drank some juice and cheered me on in the most encouraging and heart-warming way ever:

Max: “Mommy?” Me: “Yes, Max?” Max: “Mom?” Me: “Yes?” Max: (pause) “Yaaaaaay!”  

I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be going on some ‘destination’ runs this week. I get a little bored with the neighborhood after awhile, so I think I’ll jam the stroller into the trunk and head in to campus and the pretty neighborhoods I’ve been running by the gym.

So in conclusion, yes- tonight the jogging stroller that we purchased over two years ago was finally used AS an actual jogging stroller. Better late than never, right?

It’s good to be back in the game.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Max!

Happy 2nd Birthday to our amazing son, Maxwell! It’s hard to believe it’s been two whole years since we became a family of three. We have treasured every day and look forward to many, many more. We love you more than life and pray that it continues to fill you with wonder.